| I Call My Dog "Sex" | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call my dog "Sex". | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to get his license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said I shouldn't call her a dog. Then I said, "But sir, you don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said I must have been quite a kid. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The Clerk said "Me too." |
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One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex entered in the contest. He told me that I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand", I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on television." He called me a show-off. |
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When my wife and I separated, we went to court to file for custody of the dog. I told the mediator "Sir, I had Sex before I got married." The mediator said "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex had left me. He said, "Me too." |
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Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked "What are you doing in this alley at 4 in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex" My case comes up on Friday! |
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