<BGSOUND SRC="http://www.nancysuemain.com/everybodyssomebodysfool.mid" LOOP=INFINITE>
Short Ones
Vengeful Portrait
When a woman decided to have her portrait painted she told the artist, "Please paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach,
and a gold Rolex."

"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied. "I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I know he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry."
The Vegetable
A middle-aged couple was having dinner in the local restaurant. The waiter walks up to their table and says, "Tonight's specials are chicken almondine and fresh fish,"

"The chicken sounds good. I think I will have that," the wife says. The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?"

"Oh, he'll have the fish," the wife answers.
Sinner's Beware
The preacher spent his whole sermon relating the evils of sin and how all men are sinners with no exceptions. At the end of the sermon he asked rhetorically, "Now does anyone here think they are without sin?"

He had only to wait a few seconds before a man in one of the back pews stood up. The pastor asked the man who had the audacity to stand after such a fiery sermon, "Sir, do you
really think you are completely without sin?"

The man quickly answered, "No sir, I'm not standing up for myself, but for my wife's first husband."
Long Life
A reporter walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. She said to him, "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look. What's your secret for a long, happy life?"

He answered, "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, and I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never ever exercise."

"Wow, That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?" "Twenty-Six," he replied.
Back Home Next

Did this joke make you smile? To share it with a friend CLICK HERE to generate an email.
In case an address doesn't show up in the body of your email just copy and paste this one: http://www.nancysuemain.com/JokesGeneralshortones.html

Please Visit
[The Fun Pages] [The Cardshoppe] [The Recipes]