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More Short Ones
The Curse
An old man asks a Wizard if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard replies, "Maybe, but you'll have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old man answers without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
Smoke Signals
A guy traveling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar and lit up a cigar. As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings.

After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry American Indian approached him and said,  "Now listen buddy, if you don't stop calling me that I'll smash your face in!"
My Wife Thinks
The first guy said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won't let me do any work around the house. It's incredible. "The second guy says, "That's nothing. My wife thinks I'm God."

"She thinks you're God? What makes you say that?" "Easy. Every night she places a burnt offering before me."
The Operation
A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache.

Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it.

The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic."
Cheap
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.

"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That's still quite a bit," Tim complained.

Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."

The clerk handed him a MIRROR.
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